If homicidal marketing managers, angry Italian ghosts, Bolshevik uprisings in your desktop, people who think they’re trees and naked pagan women on a mission to save the universe make you feel like you want to be somewhere else, then don’t buy this book. Don’t even think about it. It will hurt your Mary Poppins sensibilities.
But if you’re into weird humor, vain attempts at slapstick violence, fast-paced stories that lead to nowhere good, then Team Player is your kind of reading.
(Cover art by Brock Parks)
The book that asks a question.
The world's first laundromance draws three strangers (two men and a woman), each with a heavy load of emotional laundry, together on a Saturday morning in the biggest, coolest laundromat in town. It's also the only sentient building on earth, and it dives into the very souls of its three customers and tells their stories. By the end of the story, the contact each of the characters has made with each other helps to clean the dirty laundry of their lives...even though they have not spoken a word to each other.
In just a few hours, Abner Hayes' wife and daughter are going to die, and the only way he can save their lives is to team up with a deadly computer virus and travel through time and space in a virtual universe that itself has only hours to live. Through suicidal game worlds, virtual landscapes that threaten to devour the unwary, and a series of insidious cyber traps, Abner and the virus must stay one step ahead of sinister forces that will stop at nothing to destroy his family in order to steal their incredible secret. Spliced with dark humor and intricate characters, The War Bug is a non-stop roller coaster thriller into a terrifying future.
In this sequel to The War Bug, Cassie Hayes is the idol of the universe. For a thousand years, she's been triumphant in the Reality Wars, a deadly series of real and virtual games played every 100 years and broadcast throughout the galaxies. But Cassie, a sentient software program, is tormented by the death of her virtual mother after her human father abandoned them 2000 years earlier. Now he's back...just in time to abandon her again as he goes off to save the universe with the help of a computer virus that thinks it's Buddha.
In the late 21st Century, A body is found in the headquarters of the world's largest fast food franchise, Barto Burger, creators of the world's first completely cloned hamburger. The president of the company, Gansheng Barto, has apparently eaten himself to death on his own burgers. Is it really suicide, or is it murder by burger. It's time to bring in Boston Jonson, crime consultant extraordinaire, to use his unorthodox mixture of Zen, insults, and hula hula shirts to unravel a startling mystery. With this rubbing alcohol-swilling sidekick, the beautiful dark-eyed Marlee Dunn, Boston dives into a jungle of underground catacombs, mad scientists, homicidal public relations managers, gargoyles, and a corporate world gone mad with genetic engineering, cloning and cruelty to old people.
When a nasty little plague of people turning into stone in coffee shops around the city threatens the bottom line of the Coffee Cartels and their highly addictive designer coffees, investigative consultant, Boston Jonson, is tossed into a world where everyone is out to either admire him or kill him, a world of annoying weirdoes who are probably better off turned into stone.
It's 2060. In Backstreet Records, a brooding audiophile thinks murder. Upstairs at Studio4Ward where skulls, dreams and beer cans are the stuff of art, 300 pounds of human sculpture dangles dead from the wall. It's time to call in the notorious super sleuth Boston Jonson to smoke out the murderer with insults and Zen.
Written for busy people like you who have always wanted to write a book, Writing Hurts Like Hell: How to Write a Novel When You Don't Have Time to Write a Short Story, guides you step-by-stop through the process of writing a novel from conceiving an idea, to developing the idea into a well-plotted story, and then revising your finished first draft into a manuscript that's ready to send to an agent or publisher.
This workshop-in-a-book breaks the entire process into manageable tasks that will fit into even the busiest of schedules and allow you to set up a writing regimen that suits your needs.
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